Friday, June 4, 2010

Impossible Dreams

We all have that dream in life that seems somehow unreachable. That goal that is too far away. The one thing that would make us happy, and complete our lives. Since I was five years old that dream has been the same. I want to be married, and I want to be ridiculously happy. Why do I keep thinking that lasting love, great sex and, romance are the keys to a happy heart? I 'm not saying it can't and won't happen, but that's putting alot of pressure on another person for our happiness. I'll admit my own marriage suffers from that. It really isn't up to other people.
I've made a list of goals this morning. None of these goals has to do with love, romance, sex, passion, or cuddling. They all have to do with dreams and fantasies. None of the fantasies involve k-y or leather either. These are all goals that I could be aspiring to, if not for my obsession with love. My obsession that if noone is in love with me why am I even here?Why am I not good enough?
When we focus too much on one thing, our life passes us by . How many of us know senior citizens who regretted wasting time in the pursuit of getting others to accept them?If I continue in a stagnant state, how will I ever know what could have been achieved?
I am too inwardly focused. I am healthy. I have two beautiful children. I am alive and I am whole. I am not going to miss out on the abundance of life by dwelling on things I cannot change. One goal, one dream realized off my list is one victory. I don't know how many of you readers believe in God...but I believe that He hears our prayers the first time. Our paths will be revealed to us if we only do our best to be the best we can be.
So in conclusion. My list is short, but my list is devoid of things that require a mate to be happy. Free of needing anyone's approval but my own. These are all things that require me, and my own hard work to achieve. I'll let you know how it turns out.


  1. Interesting post... I think you have hit it on the head... It's important for women to be ourselves, to have our own dreams/desires without having to please others.

    Betty Friedman called this ennui, or sense of losing oneself "the problem which has no name." Sitting at the kitchen table thinking that you do things for everyone else, but have nothing inside for yourself. Your life is lived for others so that you will be loved. And as you are seeing, that doesn't really lead to fulfillment...

    This is a discussion best left for a bottle of wine rather than a blog comment... so I will end it by wishing you all the best on your path!