Lately I've been thinking about life goals and what I want to accomplish in my short time on this Earth. I often find I come up short. I set the bar too high for myself honestly. Maybe not all of us are meant to be CEOs at nineteen or neuro surgeons before we've hit puberty, but that's OK.
While I was in High School, my mother saw the Smashing Pumpkins video for "1979". You know the one. The one with the bumper sticker on the car that said "proud parents of a D student."My mother loved that bumper sticker. She didn't care if her four children made honors lists, or were class presidents. She just wanted us to be good people. I sometimes envied the other kids whose parents strived so hard to get them to achieve.
I was in the breakroom at my minimum wage retail job discussing the Japanese animated film "Ponyo" with a fellow wage slave. I remarked about how I felt it was weird that the mother in the film would leave two six year old children at home in a rain storm alone. He remarked that its not uncommon in that society to have middle school aged children who live in their own apartments. He also spoke of the rigorous tests the kids were put through to determine what school they would go to based on aptitudes not on actual desire.Unfortunately, my friend also said that leads to an abnormal amount of adolescent suicides.
As a parent, I often wonder what the right amount of encouragement is. I mean, if my parents were a little more optimistic about my future, if my mom hadn't discouraged me from going to college because it was so much work, maybe I wouldn't be having to take orders at work from a twenty three year old fresh out of business college who makes twice as much as me. Then again, I should be grateful for a mom that loves me equally whether I'm a Pulitzer prize winning journalist or a grave digger.
A woman once told me that if your dreams weren't coming true change the order that you dream them. If you can't afford a house right now, work on something else. There isn't really a set order. If we focus too much on one dream we can lose the rest of them.
I also like the idea of smaller goals. Ones that are easily attainable, or already achieved. I haven't beaten up or killed anyone. I''ve never sold my body for money. I've managed thus far not to get arrested. But even if I had, it's never to late to change my life for the better. Each day is another chance. My new goal is to write every day even if its one word. Maybe you will see a blog post in the future of one word. I can't guarantee it won't be curse. What's important is I did something. I am not others. I am me, and that is enough, but I won't go anywhere unless I take a step.