Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Words

I think I am a relatively nice person.I've had alot of crap happen to me in my life and so far I haven't burned down any buildings or slashed any tires, but it occurs to me that I am a name caller. I am notorious for calling people a bastard, idiot, whore, or my favorite you fucking bitch.
It doesn't really matter that generally these people are not within earshots of my comments. It doesn't matter that they don't usually even know who I am.What matters is that what actual good is it doing? Hey I'm all for getting out your frustrations in a constructive way,but let's be honest, what do we really know about these people? How can in the three seconds it takes us to be cut off in line, or the ten minutes in a department store queue we determine a person's whole personality or define who they are? Yet I do it all the time, and so do tons of other people.
Recently I was called the C word, and I don't mean compassionate, charming or considerate. I don't even think in the moment it was spoken, I was being particularily even B word like. I felt so angry and hurt. I demanded an apology and none was given. The person expected me to let it go as if words said in anger didn't matter.
The fact is words said in anger still hurt. I strive to be this unjudgemental person, and honestly usually I can forgive pretty quickly, but my reaction to being called a cunt got me thinking. Even though the people I call names generally will never see me again and the words are said under my breath ,I have no right calling these people those vicious things.
I have a friend who says "God Bless You" every time she is cut off. Maybe that's not something you are comfortable with, but it's something I strive for. I will try to imagine the day that person must have had. Maybe he or she is in a car with screaming kids. Maybe someon had been yelling at them all day. Maybe they were texting in which case they should be arrested. Ok just seeing if you were paying attention.
That is my goal for this week. To go a whole week without calling someone a name. Unless they really really really deserve it. I'll let you know how it works out.

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