Saturday, May 1, 2010

Brutal Honesty

I don't consider myself a very good liar, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Plenty of people are very good at it. I like to say I hate lying in all forms, but what I call brutal honesty can make my very sensitive self react in a very unbecoming fashion.

In my early twenties I was alot thinner. I realize that stuff happens and as you age you put on a few. I was lamenting about the extra poundage, but as I was doing that I was lifting a whopper to my lips. A coworker commented and I let him have it! I was absolutely furious and that relationship was completely ruined. Now that I am older I realized he was right. What right do I have to complain that I am not making my goals for a healthier self if I am not treating my body well and feeding it right?

I am setting a personal goal for myself to not complain about something if I am doing everything in my power to self sabotage my goals. Instead of sitting on my butt complaining about the messy house, I should do something about it. Instead of complaining about my weight, stop shoveling crap into my body.

In the third grade I had a teacher named Mrs. Digiannaro. We kids called her Dangerous D because in the warmer months she would drive her motorcycle to school. In the third grade I started to struggle and fell behind in school. I told her one day that I thought I would do ten pages of homework to get caught up. She told me "Don't think. Do." That seemed a little bit harsh to my eight year old self, but it makes sense. It is one thing to say what we want and express a desire to do and feel better, but unless we take action to accomplish our goals, all we have are unfulfilled wishes. It's time time to be brutally honest with myself.

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