Sunday, May 2, 2010


Lately I've been pondering about the idea of enough. Do I have enough food, enough money, enough things to make me feel like I am successful in my life? This is what I've come to think, when people get "enough" myself included, generally we are disatisfied with what we have and want more.

I think it's honorable to want to live your best life. I think it's a good thing to want to reach for the stars and realize that any dream no matter how large is always attainable. I have long envied the perpetual optmists, people who always seem to see the glass as half full, or to put the water in a smaller glass so it is always full. That being said , I think its important to realize that we are enough the way we are. We don't need big houses or swimming pools or enough jewelry to wear that we walk around like Quasimodo. I want to dream big, I want to affect change in people, but I also want to help as many people as I can .

This year I want to do something about my body. It's about average size for a US woman., every day I see perfectly happy women with husbands that are my size and bigger, but I am concerned with my health, and I feel better when my body is smaller, it's a personal choice. Every day I see bigger women more attractive than me, but it's my choice to want to be smaller.

I was looking back to my size six days. What did I do that was so different? I seemed to eat the same foods, but this is where the brutal honesty comes in. When did two slices of toast become four? When did a small become a medium then a large? It's taking more to be enough at this size.

I once had a slim friend tell me to move because fat can't hit a moving target. The thought of an hour a day is daunting so I need to break it down. Five minutes walking is five minutes more I did to help my body. That's a problem myself and others have. We want instant results, we want instant gratification. We want to be enough and do enough to become instantly fit. Not only that, we want to be instantly promoted at work.

So I get all gung ho and set the bar high for myself. I remove everything that made me heavy from my life. Then I start a food journal and an exercise one. I get my hair cut, I wax my brows, maybe get some new clothes. I set myself up for failure again.

Some people can do it that way. I had an online friend that lost fifty pounds in five months. Last I knew she was training for a half marathon. Good for her. I am going by a new strategy. Im changing at least one thing for the better each week. This doesn't make me any less serious about my goals. Speed isnt the key. Perseverance is.

I'm starting a new journey in my life. I don't know where I'll be next year, but I'm making the first step to improving my life whatever comes. Don't ask me about my life in a year, ask me next week, and this time next week, I'm going to tell you where I am.

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