I'll be the first to admit that I'm definitely not the best mother in the world. I try and honestly sometimes I wish I were the cut the crust off bread, apron wearing , lysol smelling icon of perfection I aspire to be. My goal each day is to do and be better.Sometimes I am too hard on myself and sometimes I don't think I try hard enough. I need to find a balance.
I have many models of motherhood to look up to to help me on my way. My mother in law Susan who is my model of cleanliness. Once she refused to let my son play on the floor because the floor was "dirty". After putting on my lab coat and using a microscope I just didnt't see anything but I'll take her word. She also had a copy of a famous poem on her wall. You know the one that praises little evidences of kids in the home that take away perfection and cleanliness. How one would rather be a mother than spend thirty four hours cleaning? In my twelve years of knowing her, Ive rarely seen her without a sponge or broom. She is my aspiration to cleanliness.
She has also been unfailingly generous over the years, and is always watching my kids and giving me a break when she can. She always brings us snacks, and is very frequently slipping me 20 dollars to spend on myself because she knows how it is.
My mother Barb who is the opposite of stage mom. Her main goal in for us was to raise decent nice kids. She didn't care if we became lawyers or made a the Dean's list. She taught us to have faith in God above all. She also taught me that you don't need a fortune to be rich or be generous. She makes less than 500 dollars a week, and really years ago she made much less. She manages to pay a mortgage, bills and every few years buy her own car cash. She also as I said in an earlier post can give up something as miniscule as a cookie a day to help pay for a tropical vacation. There isn't such a thing as "I can't afford it." When us kids were little even when we didn't have money she never complained. She taught us to be happy with what we had. When I needed something I got a job and paid for it. She is an inspiration.
Last year we my gramma, also Barbara, went to be with God. In a way I was happy for her because Alzheimer's had taken her memories and now I know that she has them back. I miss her so much. She had a very quick temper and could be very impatient like me. But she also was quick to say sorry, and didn't stay mad, also like me. She is where my mom learned to be generous from. My gramma had a weird quirk which looking back at I miss and love. When my mom was growing up she didn't have much money. My grampa Joe was an alcoholic who died very young not even fifty.We lost my Uncle Joe when he was thirteen. He had skipped school and fell through ice while fishing. She had suffered alot but she managed to remain strong and resilient.
As some of you know, I'm a nervous driver who has yet to pass a Driver's test. My gramma passed her test at fifty years old. For twelve years after that she worked extra shifts at her job at AT&T saving money. She went on trips to Spain and Greece. She was active in a bowling league and a group called Friendly seniors. It would have been easy for her to just give up and be miserable but she took action and made a great life for herself. She was unfailingly generous and never expected payback.One of my most vivid memories of her when I was a child was her buying us whatever we wanted for a holiday. It didn't matter how big or small. One kid asked for a ninety dollar jacket another asks for a five dollar doll we both got it. There was no equality lol. If I had known that I would have asked for the pony....
My dad's mom Georgette taught me about Joy. I hardly ever saw this woman unhappy. She always sang to us as children. She often took all four of us to her and my Grampa Bill's house on the lake. She taught me how to tell what berries were safe to eat and always gave us bread for the ducks. When her five grandchildren visited the house if she had two pieces of gum she divided it up with a knife for us. Also Blue Octagon soap was dish, laundry and bubble making soap. She's another angel in heaven who God gave back her memories.
As I write this post I realize with gratitude that I have so many women in my life to show gratitude to. So many examples I could go on all day about. My Aunt Kate, Auntie Joann, Aunty, Marilyn, Aunt Betty, Aunt Deb, etc etc. This could go on all day. Today I am so grateful to everyone who helped shape me into the person I am today. Happy Mother's Day.